Right now I'm :
                 Loving my daughter Ella's wall plaque

Feeling Peaceful in my lounge room [and so is my cat Faith]

               Embracing my now curly hair

Enjoying the rain and cool weather we are experiencing today after so many days of heat. I also hope the fires on our country are getting the rain too.

Wearing my Pj's and it's after 10am. Having a lazy monday at home , on a wet day, not having to be anywhere or get the girls ready for school.

Drinking yummy coffee from the coffee machine my parents brought me for Christmas.

Reading this Blog :
http://freespiritedtmama.blogspot.com.au/
And I love the way this family live their life, Kinda reminds me of our little family, living frugally. op shopping, and just living simply.

So what are you up to RIGHT NOW?

The Power of Forgiveness

Living a simple life is more involved than just making do, reducing spending, meal planning, baking, cooking from scratch etc, it also involves living a simple life mentally and spiritually too.
Releasing fears, forgiving, removing toxic people are all part of living a simple life too.
How can we live simply if we are carrying clutter in our minds? It's just not possible.

 Many people that suffer from anxiety and depression have some past lesson that is holding them back. Often there is resentment being held somewhere that is behind the anxiety, behind the depression. Not allowing you to be free. Not allowing your mind to release the resentment, the anger and the guilt. Before we can move on to living a better life. Before we can move on and experience happiness, fulfillment and peace we need to let go. We need to forgive the past hurts that are stopping us from moving closer to peace and contentment.
The power of forgiveness is a wonderful, fulfilling feeling.
However, I can understand that some circumstances do not allow oneself to forgive another person for their wrongdoings.
I know of a lady who lost a child last year due to another family members mistake. It has been heartwrenching for all involved and due to the circumstances this family cannot forgive the family member who caused the incident that took their child's life. As a mother myself I can totally understand where this family is coming from. How can one forgive someone who took their child's life when the person had a choice. This person had a choice to keep this child safe and they chose their own needs rather than putting the needs of the child first. Not everything can be forgiven. If someone was responsible for taking my child's life I don't think I could totally forgive. I could maybe understand it was something that could never be changed. I could accept that it had happened but if the person responsible had a choice then it would be hard to totally forgive.
But forgiveness can still occur. We still can find forgiveness in our heart and soul. If you cannot ever forgive the person or circumstance you can forgive YOURSELF for not being able to forgive.
You can let go of the guilt you hold yourself. Once you have achieved this your soul will be restored and healed. We will feel uplifted, refeshed and renewed.
If there is something holding you back from forgiving, something that is not totally unforgiveable, remember people make mistakes. We are all human and we all say and do things we later regret. We all make choices that sometimes aren't the best. BUT they are choices that we have made. We cannot change them but we can learn from them. They make us better people. Life is too short to hold grudges over minor things.
If you hold a grudge forever over a little disagreement think of all the wonderful times and opportunities you may miss. Everyone deserves a chance and even a second and third chance. If you have in you the inability to forgive than at least look at the circumstances again through a different set of eyes.Through their eyes. Offer them support. Offer them kindness. Offer them love. Do your best to help them. They may not be in the best head space either and a little love and support is something, as human beings that we all need. That we all desire. We feel so much better as people when we are helping others. Providing support and encouragement.
So I suggest if there is someone you aren't speaking to due to a rift, if a family member has upset you I suggest you look at the situation through their eyes. I suggest that you look into the situation and realise that their path is different to yours and that that is ok. If you feel this person is in need of help, bite your pride and offer it. We are all special. We all make mistakes. We all deserve forgiveness. We all need to learn to forgive. We all walk different paths. If they resent you realise it is part of their journey and not yours. Be the better person. Release yourself.

This quote is really resonating with me right now. Right now, I am too focused on how life should be and not how it is. I am working on that and it is a huge lesson for me to learn. On a day to day basis I am happy. I am appreciating small moments. I am almost at peace. There is something holding me back from total peace though. Something that I blogged about not so long ago on my other website that I don’t think I am going to use anymore as I have converted to Tumblr. Here is what I wrote about. It will explain some of my feelings and why this picture is resonating with me right now. It will explain why I am struggling with what is and why it’s so easy to think what should be.
I labelled the blog post: YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!!!!
The biggest lesson I have learnt over the past few months is that my feelings are valid.
My feelings and your feelings matter. As much as sometimes our feeings make us question why we feel that way and if we have a right to feel that way, they shouldn’t.

We cannot help the way we feel. We can try and change the feelings. We can immerse ourselves in looking at a different perspective. We can talk ourselves into believing something different. But if our heart believes one thing, no matter how hard we try, we cannot change those feelings deep inside. And you know what? That’s perfectly ok.
Why should we have to change the way we feel? Why should our feelings not be valid?
I think part of sharing my journey and part of invoking happiness is also recognising that even though we can be happy in our core, in our entire being, things happen, feelings arise and if that small part of us is unhappy or trying to deal with those feelings, it’s ok.
What’s not ok is hiding those feelings or feeling guilty about those feelings.
I’m going to go a bit personal on this blog. I need to get out what I am feeling. Because right now, I don’t feel guilty for my feelings. They are valid to me.

In 2002 I welcomed my first daughter into my life. My pregnancy was perfect, an absolute dream [aside from the morning sickness lol] so when we fell pregnant in 2005 we hoped that pregnancy #2 was going to be the same. And it was to some extent. I had some bleeding at 17 weeks and a low lying placenta. By 20 weeks the placenta had moved up and all was good. By 34 weeks there was signs of my blood pressure rising [I have had high blood pressure since 18 yrs of age] and by 36 weeks it was so high I was hospitalised. By 37 weeks I was induced and after a 27 minute labour our second daughter arrived. She was a little small bundle but healthy.
I was allowed home, two days later and my blood pressure reduced but was still high enough to need medication. And still now I am medicated.
At the time I remember the Drs saying how lucky I was and how lucky my daughter was. I remember my DH and I saying “No more babies”.
I felt like my two were enough.
Now 7 years on from my second daughter. I can honestly say that I have longed for another baby for the past 4 years at least.
I loved being pregnant. Even the morning sickness.Some asked if we would have more children. Especially considering we have two daughters so automatically people ask if you are going to try again for a boy.
I wouldn’t care if I was to have another girl , if it was meant to be it would be. But I long for a son. I long for another child, but especially a son. My heart aches that I will never parent a boy. That I will never have a son grow up and rest his strong arm on my shoulder and say “Hey Mum” while looking down on me [which would be quite easy considering I am only 5 foot tall lol]. That I will never have a son grow into a young man and look up to his sisters. That I will never have a baby boy that my DH and I created, a mini DH to treasure.

Recently there has been so many pregnancies right in front of me. And I’m jealous. I’ve recogised that ache in my heart as jealousy. I’ve realised that I want that pregnancy to be me. It’s so so so hard.
I also went through a feeling of guilt. Guilt for the women that can’t fall pregnant easily. The partners that struggle with infertility. The guilt of being able to fall pregnant so easily and having two daughters that are gorgeous and healthy whilst others will never have that opportunity. And I guess I still feel guilty for that. But it doesn’t make that longing and grieving I am feeling any less valid. I have every right to feel sad for the son I will never have. Why shouldn’t I? It means I am staying true to my feelings.
I honestly don’t think it’s something I’ll ever get over. I know I will always feel this way. And only now that I have acknowledged these feelings and that I know it’s ok to feel this way and not feel guilty, that I have come to a small amount of peace within.

I tried to talk myself out of my feelings. I tried to change perspective and started quoting “Concentrate on the children you do have and not the ones you don’t”. But that quote and change of perspective didn’t change the feelings in my heart and soul.

So my message to you is this……….. Your feelings are valid. Never, ever, ever feel guilty for feeling the way you do about anything. Feelings need to be recognised and acknowledged and accepted. Once you realise this and stop feeling guilty for these feelings you may then find a sense of peace.

100 things to do in 2013

One of my greatest Inspirations is Leonie Dawson at http://leoniedawson.com/
I love her 'Create your Incredible Year workbook. If you'd like to purchase you can here :
http://leoniedawson.com/affiliate-redirect/?p=Ellamia&w=incredyear
It's a bargain price and worth so much more. If you want to create an incredible 2013 and an incredible life BUY IT NOW!!!!!!!
One of the tasks in this book is to write down 100 things you would like to do in 2013. I have struggled with finding more than about 25 each year but this year I managed all 100 and I am amazed. Some I have already achieved :) So here they are

100 THINGS TO DO IN 2013

1. Live minimally
Yes.... I want to purchase less and only have necessities and things that are beautiful in my life :)

2. Declutter everything
My house is relatively clutter free but I would like it to be even moreso. I'll be doing this slowly, one cupboard at a time and donating to charity with the items I no longer need.

3. Build a vege garden
Yes... I have wanted to do this for a loooooooong time. This year I am going to MAKE it happen :)

4. Build a bigger chicken coop
We need a bigger one, I want MORE chickens I love their little personalities so so much :)


5. Play barefoot bowls
My parents and brother play bowls and are all pretty good. I've always wanted to give it a go so I am gonna do it this year.

6. Learn to sew
As a teenager my Mum wanted to teach me to sew. I thought I was too cool for that but now I wish I had of learnt. This year I want to learn the basics.

7. Learn to knit
I tried two winters ago but didn't have the time to keep going with it and now I've forgotten. I want to learn it again so am going to do this.

9. Cut my hair shorter
I bit the bullet last friday and did this already.  I love it so much I am going to go even shorter. Here's a pic of my cut so far.



10. Get a dreamcatcher tattoo

Yes I love this one :)


11. Go to the waterslides
12. See at least 5 movies
Already did this. Took my girls last tuesday.


13. Read at least 10 books
Reading books takes me time away from the computer so I'm up for that!!!!

14. Buy a kindle
I'm waiting for the Kindle Paperwhite to be available in Australia. Can't wait!!!! I like reading in bed and with Hubby going to bed early I need a back lit kindle. At the moment I use my iphone and the kindle app.


15. Have Mum and Dad over for dinner
Haven't done this in years. so we are going to do it this year and hubby and I will cook something amazing.

16. Have inlaws over for dinner
As above

17. Go to bed earlier
I'm such a night owl. After a restless 5 years with Mia being a terrible sleeper I seem to cope ok with not much sleep but I need to practice going to bed earlier at least by 10.30

18. Treadmill at least 3 x a week
My knee has been playing up badly but once it's sorted this will be a must!!

19. Plan 'fun days' with my girls on my calendar
Need to book these in NOW!!!!!

20. Visit my BFF at her house
She's been there 2 years now so must get out there. Was supposed to last friday bt my knee has been too painful :(

21. Visit Nan C
Will visit my Nan when I visit Best friend as it's not much further.

22. Take Grandfather for lunch
He lives in an amazing place so no excuse not to take hm out for lunch by the sea.

23. Can't say this one [Obviously something I don't want on the WWW]

24. Walk on the beach
Yes did this on sunday and it was amazing. Also swam in the ocean and the salt on my lips was just what my body was craving. I felt cleansed again.

25. Donate to charity
I already do, but I want to donate more.

26. Perform a random act of kindness [or more than one]
Have some ideas for this I will post another day.

27. Visit Minyon Falls
Gorgeous and not too far from where I live.

28. Buy a rainbow dreamcatcher
So pretty to hang in my room.

29. One lunch date with Ty
He suprised me last year and it was sooooo nice to have lunch cooked by someone else and without the children, just me and my love.

30. Teach Mia to ride a bike without training wheels
Yes!!! She needs to practice this. Will will get there.

31. Find or create a womans circle
I need more women like minded friends near me I miss this and am incredibly lonely at times.

32. Have coffee with Mum
It's just nice to do this.

33. Meditate twice a week
I'd actually like to meditate more but I think twice a week is doable when I am back working.

34. Go to Bangalow Markets
A lovely place to visit with gorgeous items.

35. Blog more often
Yes I think this is needed muchly.

36. Sort out my e book and how to enable instant purchase
Yes I have an ebook. It's called Invoking Happiness and it's like a little workbook. It involves the tools I used to invoke more happiness into my life. However I don't know how to set up instant purchase??????

37. Visit Macadamia castle
The girls would enjoy going again I think.

38. Play Putt Putt golf
Yes we played this on my birthday last year. The girls loved it and so did i so we must do it again.

39. Watch less TV
I don't watch a lot anyway but this means more of stepping away if it's on or just simply turning it off more. Bit hard when Ty ALWAYS has to have it on though.

40. Weed front garden
Yes it's a tad neglected at the moment but I'll get there.

41. Choose Happiness
I always try to but will even more if possible.

42. Go fishing with Ty
He loves his fishing and last time I tried it was fun so I'll give it another go.

43. Take Family to dreamworld
We said we would in 2012 but didn't so we had better this year.

44. Keep a 'Good things that Happen in 2013] jar
I have the jar but keep forgetting to add to it. Must start today!!!

45. Eat more Greens
Need I say more??

46. Put solar lights in yard
Just to make it pretty

47. Be a 'YES' Mama
Try this. Sometimes tiredness will make me fail but I'll keep trying. Thats all I can do.

48. Spend less time online
Oh I so need to get off the net and live my life more. Don't we all?????

49. Have more 'Movie nights' at home
Never really watch movies but need to start.

50. Paint ceilings in bedroom and bathroom
Yes a bout of rain caused some slight mould probs. Need to sort it before health problems arise.

51. Bake more bread
We were then stopped so we best start again.

52. Ring Nan more often
Need to do this too.

53. Take more instagram pics
MMMM not sure if I should or not lol

54. Go overboard with Birthday celebrations
Yes, lots of balloon hanging and celebrating I want to do more.

55. Journal more often
I recommend this in my e book and I was journalling a lot but have since stopped. I need to start again.

56. Get girls into extra curricular activity
Yes Mia wants to do Karate and Ella dance. Hard thing is juggling it all with work but will try my best.

57. Have a picnic
Yes!!! Can't wait!!!!

58. Use my Crystals more
Was using them a lot a year or so ago but have gotten slack they hold so much power I will start again.

59. Wear more Tie Dye
Love it!!! So must wear it more often.

60. Send 5 cars to friends/family just because
Just to share some love around.

61. Grow calendula and make salve
To help with all ailments.

62. Create a 2013 dreamboard
Just because almost everything on my old one has happened :) [Except the weightloss].

63. Make my own soap
Always been too scared to deal with lye. But need to try it and do it.

64. Complete the 'Digging Deep' ebook workbook
I love this workbook you can purchase it here: http://theorganicsister.com/

65. Swim in the ocean
Already did this on sunday.

66. Have a cave weekend
A weekend where my home is my cave, where I go nowhere, speak to no one but hubby and the girls and just simply hang out!!

67. Make a shell and driftwood mobile
Need to get my creativity on....

68. Plant lavendar
My last one lived a fair while but recently died. I need more. I love it.

69. Plant Aloe Vera
Got an aloe plant off my Mama, laready planted.

70. Eat more vegetarian meals
To save money and for my health.

71. Pay off cc
There's not much on it but I want it to be debt free already.

72. Buy new coushins for front room
Purchased some off ebay, indian handmade fair trade coushin covers, they are divine, waiting for them to arrive as I type this.

73. Weekly home facials
Cleanse, scrub, tone, mask, moisturise need I say more?

74. Download skype and use
To keep in contact with friends and family.

75. Print more photos and put in albums
Yes!! Modern technology has made me slack in the photo album department.

76. Try a jigsaw puzzle
Can't sit still long enough usually but going to try.

77. Got to Crystal Castle again
Love this place.

78. Accupuncture x 4 sessions
Need to get back into regular accupuncture.

79. 1 X Hot rock massage
Have wanted one of these like forever

80. Use my herbs in my foods more often
Always forget they are there lol

81. Make pictures out of clouds whilst lying outside
Will do this in winter when it's not too hot to lay outside. Might even get the girls to do it with me, we can make funny pictures with the clouds

82. Have a pyjarma day
Maybe in winter.

83. Read 'Hand wash cold' By Karen Maizen Miller
Can't wait to purchase and read this book.

84. Dance in the rain with my girls
Just because it would be fun.

85. Spend at least 10 mins in my garden daily
Yes, walk on the bare earth with bare feet is grounding for me.

86. Chiro x 1 session per month
Will continue with chiro it always makes me feel good and my neck has never been better since going.

87. Have fancy stationary at work
Just to brighten things up a bit.

88. Visit Ripley's Believe it or not
It's Ella's fav book so she'd love to go and visit.

89. Meditate under a full moon
How divine would this be?

90. Make cheesecake
Just cos we all love it

91. Menu plan EVERY fortnight
To save $$$ and food wastage.

92. Hula Hoop more
Might help me tone up my waistline that is certainly showing signs of over indulgence from Christmas food.

93. Buy Saritah CD
Her voice is amazing and I want my house filled with her tunes.

94. Wear flowers in my hair
Just cos they're pretty.

95. Watch Whales in July
Love doing this.

96. Take a one day road trip with my family
Just to get away and spend time together.

97. Complete one crossword
Cos they bore me but I want the challenge.

98. Buy a boho bag
Cos I like them and I want one that describes 'me'

99. Watch one Titans home game
Haven't seen them since spet 2009. Need to go again. I love the atmosphere of alive NRL game.

100. Hug my family at least twice a day.
Sometimes when I'm working te busyness of life takes over but a huge twice a day can make all the difference.

Well that's my 100 things to do in 2013. I wonder how many I'll achieve. I've love to achieve them all and I can't wait to review next New Year!!! Feel free to share yours and leave a link to your blog.

Much Love!!