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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Parenting

I'm really starting to struggle with the phase of parenting I am going through right now. Parenting so far has come easy to me. I am trained in Early Childhood so when both my girls were born it was a natural transition for me. Sure I had my up and down days but we adapted easily to routines, fun activities , discipline etc.
Now though as my oldest daughter is about to turn 12 and my youngest turn 9 I am finding it the hardest so far.
All of a sudden the things we found fun to do together [playdough, painting, craft, playing in the sand pit, going to the local park etc] seem to be diminishing. These things aren't 'cool' anymore. There's a change in the air and I feel lost, scared and unsure.
I'm not trained or familiar with this age group. I am constantly torn between wanting to give them their independance and some freedom but worrying that I will give too much or not enough.
I am second guessing myself constantly.
Do I let them cross the road and wait for the bus by themselves? Do I let them walk to the corner store on their own? Do I let them have sleep overs at friends places that I don't really know? How much freedom should I be giving them on the laptop / internet etc? What can we do together on a limited budget on the weekends that they think is fun?
Sometimes when big decisions are to be made [such as what high school should miss 12 yr old attend next year], I am conflicted with where I should be sending her and where I am comfortable sending her.
I feel torn between society's expectations and my own. I want to empower my children to make decisions for themselves yet feel as a parent I should be making the final call on these decisons as they are, after all , children.
Do others feel like this? Is it this hard for all parents? Is it something I am always going to struggle with? What things can I consider that might help me in the next few years? I'm open to any advice / input from others. If I bounce these thoughts off others I constantly get told that I will always make the best decisions for my children. But will I?