I'm really starting to struggle with the phase of parenting I am going through right now. Parenting so far has come easy to me. I am trained in Early Childhood so when both my girls were born it was a natural transition for me. Sure I had my up and down days but we adapted easily to routines, fun activities , discipline etc.
Now though as my oldest daughter is about to turn 12 and my youngest turn 9 I am finding it the hardest so far.
All of a sudden the things we found fun to do together [playdough, painting, craft, playing in the sand pit, going to the local park etc] seem to be diminishing. These things aren't 'cool' anymore. There's a change in the air and I feel lost, scared and unsure.
I'm not trained or familiar with this age group. I am constantly torn between wanting to give them their independance and some freedom but worrying that I will give too much or not enough.
I am second guessing myself constantly.
Do I let them cross the road and wait for the bus by themselves? Do I let them walk to the corner store on their own? Do I let them have sleep overs at friends places that I don't really know? How much freedom should I be giving them on the laptop / internet etc? What can we do together on a limited budget on the weekends that they think is fun?
Sometimes when big decisions are to be made [such as what high school should miss 12 yr old attend next year], I am conflicted with where I should be sending her and where I am comfortable sending her.
I feel torn between society's expectations and my own. I want to empower my children to make decisions for themselves yet feel as a parent I should be making the final call on these decisons as they are, after all , children.
Do others feel like this? Is it this hard for all parents? Is it something I am always going to struggle with? What things can I consider that might help me in the next few years? I'm open to any advice / input from others. If I bounce these thoughts off others I constantly get told that I will always make the best decisions for my children. But will I?
The Simple Life of Us.......
1 comment:
Hi! I'm jay from the D2E forum :)
I know this is an old post and I'm sure you've figured out by now which school to send your DD to.
Just letting you know that yes, other parents DO worry about making the right choices for their children!
From the time my DS was born, to when he started school, I think I changed my mind a good 100 times about his future education. I looked at lots of local schools, then I was determined to homeschool, then we looked at private schools. Then back to homeschooling. Then we moved and I looked at about 20 different schools in the new area!
We eventually settled on the closest public school, which looked wonderful and had amazing programs, but then within 6 months realised it wasn't right for him after all! He is now in year 1 at a private school 40km away! But he loves it and he wouldn't be the best he could be without the loving guidance of that whole school community.
It is never too late to change your mind and try things a different way.
Whether it is schooling, or discipline, or setting rules about sleepovers, or giving them freedom to walk the neighbourhood without supervision.
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